The first post

on yet another blog I've begun.

A new start. 

Again.

I wrote in my journal last month "I'd like to start to blog again" and didn't know when that was going to happen.  I was feeling a little skeptical because this is my 3rd blog and the other two just never panned out.


The first one didn't work out because I just got bored with it and wanted to pursue a new avenue of blogging.  The second one didn't work out because I put such high expectations on myself that I didn't live up to and it wore me down.  I felt like a total goob after two failed blogs.  The goob-i-ness feelings was mainly over the business-side of my blogs failing, not the blogging and writing itself.

I was too caught up in what OTHER people were doing and how OTHER people's blogs looked that I missed the point of why I wanted to blog in the first place, which was just to SHARE.

I've promised myself that this blog is going to be a fun project.  It's not going to be something where I try to earn money or be like someone else or get accolades from other people.  I just want a place where I can write, share with my friends, meet (kind) strangers, and just be me.

I had a hard time just being me because I found fault somewhere down in the depths of what is "Melanie".  There was always something wrong, something not good enough, or something that needed to be changed for the better.  I always saw the faults reflected in my blogging and it made me feel...well, gooby.

But I'm moving on past those feelings now. I'm turning over a new leaf!  No more goobish feelings, I tell ya!

I am realizing I don't need other people to tell me I do well at something to make me feel good (not to be confused with "goob").  I don't need to boast about what I have accomplished or what I've done to make someone swoon over my accomplishments (what was I thinking!?!?!?!!).  Boy, was I insecure!  Because,  you know what?  I've realized that it really isn't ME whose accomplishing anything in my life, whether it be at home, handling my kids, loving my husband, or even something merely as blogging.  It's Jesus who does the Great Work, which I have no business trying on my own.  But, that's a conversation for another day.

So, as my first post, I want to clear up that if you hear any boasting at all, it will be for Jesus, who is the only One who makes my life good.  If I do boast about anything other that what Jesus can do, will do, or has done for me, to me and through me then call me out on it: I'll repent.

Everything else in my life that is good, apart from Jesus, is a BONUS I've been blessed with, all of which I don't deserve.

And I have a lot of "bonuses" in my life: 1 husband, 4 kids, 1 house, 2 mini-vans (yes, yes...you read that right), 4 living parents (2 of my own (married 40 years) and 2 of my husbands (married almost 40 years)), and 0 pets.  That last one is crucial, my friends.  I love that I have 0 pets.  I have enough poop to clean up as it is!  I don't need another living being pooping around here. 

OK.  I guess that's my first post.  I hate that it's ending with poop.  But such is life, eh?

Well, I did it!  I started another blog!

What have I gotten myself in to...

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